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Abraços e beijos, só depois de um tempo !

É mais do que comum na nossa cultura esperarmos que as crianças distribuam beijos e abraços a todos que os cercam, principalmente entre os familiares não é mesmo?

Fazemos parte de uma cultura onde o abraço e o beijo fazem parte dos bons modos, da boa educação e é justamente esse um dos nossos diferencias  comparando com outras  culturas.

Quando uma criança demonstra não gostar de distribuir beijos e abraços até mesmo em outras crianças, um olhar de “ué como assim” é lançado em volta dessa criança.

Mesmo antes de ser mãe, justamente por trabalhar no universo infantil desde os meus 18 anos, já havia aprendido na teoria que crianças se diferem umas das outras até mesmo dentro de uma mesma família. Como minha primeira formação é Educação Física, passei anos da minha graduação aprendendo como agir com uma criança que por qualquer que seja o motivo não gosta de ser “tocada” ou de tocar o outro logo no primeiro contato, já que numa aula de psicomotricidade por exemplo o contato físico faz-se necessário.

Geralmente crianças que são observadoras, precisam se sentir seguras tanto em relação ao ambiente que ela está quanto às pessoas que ali estão, mesmo que essa outra pessoa seja uma criança. Para as mães é muito fácil perceber se temos filhos observadores ou exploradores. Contrário dos observadores, os exploradores são aquelas que quando chegam num parque por exemplo já correm de um lado para o outro sem solicitar que um dos pais ou cuidador o acompanhe.

As crianças exploradoras tendem a interagir muito mais e consequentemente distribuem beijos e abraços com mais facilidade.

Se seu filho, assim como minha Valentina {2 anos e 10 meses} tem essa característica/personalidade observadora não se assuste caso ela demonstre não se sentir à vontade em distribuir beijos e abraços logo que chega nos lugares, até mesmo na casa dos familiares ou numa festa dos amiguinhos da escola.

Haja com naturalidadee tente ficar tranquila, cumprimente você as pessoas para que através do exemplo você possa mostrar como faz, com isso você consegue passar para seu filho que ele está num ambiente seguro e que o beijo e abraço é comum. Não force seu filho a beijar ou abraçar, isso não quer dizer que ele não deva cumprimentar as pessoas, um “Oi” ou um aceno de mão é válido.

Digo para ficar tranquila porque eu passo isso diariamente na pele, já ouvi muitas vezes que é “falta de educação em casa” ou “falta de afeto” não beijar e nem abraçar quando se chega nos lugares! Aí manter a tranquilidade em situações como essa fica quase que impossível, porque em qualquer das duas situações você como mãe fica numa super saia justa, sem falar na culpa!

Como tenho {Sem modéstia alguma} conhecimento teórico sobre esse assunto, eu convido quem falou ou deu a entender isso a conversar sobre individualidade infantil e o que faço para driblar essa suposta timidez da minha filha, geralmente da certo! E sempre enfatizo que crianças são diferentes e não coloco e nem deixo ninguém rotular minha filha de brava, porque os rótulos só potencializa o que não é positivo.

Meu marido que hoje é a pessoa mais comunicativa que conheço, quem o conhece vai concordar, foi a criança mais desconfiada e tímida que minha sogra conheceu. Então nem preciso falar que não tenho preocupação nenhuma em esperar o tempo da Valentina para se soltar, sem deixar de mostrar através dos nossos exemplos que o beijo e abraço é comum e faz bem dentro da nossa cultura, se um dia isso atrapalhar no crescimento dela, existem vários profissionais para ajudá-la ao longo da sua vida, sem contar o amor e apoio que ela sempre encontrará dentro de casa.

Para finalizar, se você forçar uma criança de 2/3 anos a fazer o que ela não está se sentindo confortável, pode gerar uma crise de birra logo no início do seu programa social.

Acredite, espere uma meia hora de relógio e logo você verá seu filho rindo e brincando com os amigos; fazendo um carinho no parente que ela recusou a beijar e até convidando a vovó ou o vovô para brincar junto com ela!

Não associe beijo e abraço com educação, ensine que precisamos ser educados, cumprimentar, ser gentil com palavras e principalmente com atitudes. E não esqueça que cada criança é única, precisa do seu tempo!

 

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